Crumpets and Grapeshot

Tutti in campagna

So to start things off I would like to welcome the very esteemed sexual dynamo of linguistics - the one and only Lucy Gubbins as our newest follower!!! (plays applause machine from the Andy Griffith show circa 1975)

Now lets begin shall we?

Pretty sure today was the official beginning of fall…not by your calenders standard, but certainly by the weathers, cause fucks sake it was 85 and more humid than an Treblinka gas chamber yesterday in ye olde City of Nonsense - today however its overcast, 68 and a slight drizzle…damn near heaven. And for you tossers that will complain that I am beginning this post with a weather report…sod it, mmk?

In response to Herr Felts glimmering post yesterday, I can only claim ignorance to most of it, as I have yet to ever set foot in the PNW despite the many attempts by him and my other good friend up there who insist on their continual campaign to get me to move there with the utmost haste and enthusiasm - and if the apparent food and drink scene is anything to go by, I dare say I would rather adore it…not to mention the weather fit for an English King…aka myself of course.

But as I stand here riding my commuter rail provider, I realize that a move for yours truly really does need to be placed quite high on the docket for the next year, barring job events here. Do not get me wrong I love my job, but continuing work on my masters is paramount, as is a change of pace/scenery that lord knows I need.

Stay tuned later for our Napoleonic post - mine will be up later tonight, while his highness’ shall be forth coming whenever he feels like shedding his innate attraction to laziness that comes with being from Oregon. Au revoir my little minions!

Of salmon and microbrews

As my one and only black friend pointed out, he lives in a glory hole of all that is food and drinks.  I have been to NYC once before, and I can say that he is completely right.  Undisputed fact.  Name a country, region, etc and you can eat there.  No questions asked.  You can find 5 star restaurants with Michelan star quality food and pay literally out the ass for it.  Go to Brighton Beach and dine on some glorious Georgian Khatschapuri or Ukrainian borscht…or just go to China…(loljk I mean Flushing) for some delicious Eastern delicacies.  THAT SAID, living in the northwest, I have grown to discover, that while our food scene is not quite as diverse and upscale as say NYC, we do have our claims to fame that NYC couldn’t even begin to touch on. 

Example I: Salmon

Oh my God how I adore salmon. (Its the Nordic genes I think, but you dont have to be pale/translucent to enjoy its delicious taste and its versatility)  Its the steak of fish tbh. (Screw tuna, it tastes like mercury anyway).  Yes, I know that in today’s world of modern conveniences and transportation, you can freeze Alaska salmon and ship to NYC in a matter of hours…but there is just something about fresh grilled Northwest salmon that cannot be beat.  Fish tacos…a California delicacy…are made with Salmon up here in the PCNW. (Though you can get the white fish kind as well, they pale in comparison…and I’m not that sorry to say it, so suck it SoCal.)

Example II: Microwbreweries

 Did you lot know that Oregon has more microwbreweries per capita than some European countries?  Portland can boast more than any other city in the nation, and I’m going to tell you right here and now, make no mistake, they are the best in the world.  I know some of you Euro lots are foaming at the mouth, but I have been to literally every major brewing nation in the world (sans maybe Ireland and Czech), and nothing compares to what you can get out here.  Now I enjoy a good Heffeweizen from Bavaria as any other guy, same with English porter, but the selection and quality of a good PCNW brew cannot be compared to anywhere else in North America and most European countries.  Deschutes Brewery, Ninkasi, Rogue Ales, Widmer Brothers, Fullsail, and countless others.  A gastropub by the name of McMennamins specializes in serving Oregon beers and their selection is simply amazing.  McMennamins also has a habbit of setting up business in historic places around the PCNW such as a Swedish Immigrants’ Church, countless old saloons and hotels, etc. 

Example III: Tillamook Dairy Products

Now I know a certain Armenian loving yankee girl from Nashville will fight me to hell and back for this one, but Tillamook makes the best dairy products. Period.  Their ice cream and cheddar cheese is something to die for.  These massive blocks of cheddar are stuffed into our suitcases every Christmas, because our family back in the south can’t get enough of them.  The ice cream is simply the best out of any I have ever tried, and they use strictly local ingredients.  (Marionberry Cheesecake or Birthday cake batter are among the favorites of mine).  Keep in mind, when I say ice cream, I mean TRUE.AMERICAN. ice cream, none of this gelato bull crap, thats a whole different field.  They also make a huge variety of other products like butter, sour cream, and of course milk. 

Example IV: Seafood

So I realize that my English counter part, by some fluke of evolution, dislikes seafood with an undying passion. (Seriously? Its an island..). HOWEVER, that aside, its safe to say that the PCNW is the best place to get North Pacific style seafood.  Anything from crab, to clams, to mussels, you can find it here and in huge quantities.  Now I will leave the Cioppino to San Francisco and the guineas in Vancouver, BC but Mo’s Clam chowder is the best.  It truly beats anything New England can throw at us. (Clam chowder in a massive sourdough bread bowl on a cold and windy day at the coast, nothing is better).  The Oregon coast is chock full of delicious sea food eateries, some that are very fancy and ran by 5 star chefs from (where else) New York City. 

Well thats all for now my pretties.  My counter part mentioned something about what he would be in the Napoleonic wars, I think that would make for an interesting post for the both of us to do.  More to come más tarde..

Culinary Mecca personified

So if it’s one thing that I will forever feel is beyond endearing about NYC, it’s the fact that no matter where you go, there is amazing food in copious amounts of almost every street in the entire city.  In the span of less than five hours myself and my amazing co-workers hit up two eatery/watering hole establishments that couldn’t be more different in cuisine, decor and vibe —but both were completely amazing in their own right…it’s incredible to think about how that case holds true no matter where you go in NYC…not just in Manhattan, but in Brooklyn and Queens as well (fuck Staten Island and the Bronx…except Arthur Avenue…that’s another matter entirely to be honest with you)

The topic of discussion of horseback riding, archery and marksmanship came up while @ Vapiano — why is it that no one can believe that I not only know how to ride horses, but that I am rather accomplished at it at the same time? I mean hell, if this was 1805, I would be a Grenadier a Cheval or in the Middle Guard had I of been French and serving in Napoleons Army…but the hell if I’d ever be French…case in point is, being tall doesn’t mean you cannot do things that short people can do — we often do it far better than you I am afraid (please see sex as a reference).  But seriously, being raised in a military family offered me the privileges of learning all these awesome things of times gone by that people often take for granted these days — how awesome is it to ride a horse on a beach or up a mountain trail…is there anything more relaxing in the world?

Back to my evening out — I think I have a serious wine addiction that needs to be addressed post haste before it gets any worse.  I had four Dos Equis at Tequila’s before we moved on to Vapiano with the crew…that isn’t even scrapping near my limit of alcohol, but the problem arises when I chug an entire bottle of wine in under 10 minutes and I do not ever feel the effects of such an action…that cannot be okay by any stretch of the imagination I am afraid lol.  It gets worse as well — my track record from college and the few years following my completion of under-grad are the stuff of legend…but as I get older, I feel like I need to ax the whole high tolerance to drinking…while I am a incredibly responsible employee, friend, brother and son…drinking in the long run can never end in anything good…and while my partner in crime would strongly disagree until the chickens came home to roost, it’s something I need to delve further into and strongly consider.

Food glorious food

So while my dearest partner in crime Herr Felts hasn’t made a post yet, I may as well continue to pump them out as I see fit.  Today, it’s a fast post about food…in this case, soup.

If you don’t like soup, not only are you wrong, but you deserve the same punishment that comes to any person who is French aka “Le Gay”.  I didn’t want what was for dinner this evening, so I decided to whip up a random soup — these always come out great, as I have a knack for soups.

What was produced was spicy creamy tomato soup with panchetta and farfalle pasta — naturally I cannot tell you what spices were used in it, but what I can tell you is that if you use those ingredients as a base and then use spices that play to your palate, I think you’d rather enjoy it.  Unfortunately, the soup was obliterated by all before pics could be taken, so I shall do my best to get pics the next time it’s made, which probably won’t be before long.  Stay tuned kiddies — auf wiedersehen!!

Just a few opening remarks…

It comes to mind that with the anniversary of September 11th around the corner, I found myself reflecting on the matter on my train hide home from the city this morning.  As someone her experienced it first hand (I saw the whole event from the 6th floor window of my high school) and who had many friends go into the service upon our graduation, I think back and wonder to what end has the war on terror actually been?

I first remember how I was offered a full scholarship to West Point — upon realizing this, I came to the conclusion that once I graduated from the Academy as a commissioned officer in the Army, I would have undoubtedly found myself in either Afghanistan or Iraq fighting a war that I did not agree with at all.  Why do I say this? Well, let’s break it down shall we:

- Saddam Hussein:  Let’s be honest here people, all he ever did was talk a big game, and with the exception of the Iran-Iraq war and the first Gulf War, he never did anything at all on the world stage after Stormin’ Norman and the Coalition forces rolled him over in72 hours in ‘91.  Weapons of mass destruction (in this case I am referring to Nuclear) were never found and not even a trace of the ability to even produce them has ever surfaced either.  The entire war was Bush Jr. finishing off what poppa Bush started and finally establishing a “pro” western regime in the nation — let the oil flow.

- Osama Bin Laden:  Now do not get me wrong, this mother fucker had to be obliterated, and “apparently” we finally got the job done.  However, do you honestly believe that with all our military advancements and the sheer amount of men, material and ordinance that was dedicated to his demise, that it honestly took us the better part of a decade to finally kill him?  He was the entire face of our war in Afghanistan, don’t believe for a second that he would’ve been dead if we wanted him to be — without Bin Laden, the call for war would’ve died down — why do you think attention in Afghanistan has already plummeted after his death?

So why am I thinking of all of this?  Because when I think of 9/11, I think of all the innocent people who died in New York, Washington D.C. and in rural Pennsylvania — I think of all the American servicemen and women that have given their lives — I think of the countless civilian contractors brutally beheaded and dismembered…left in ditches on the side of roads for the Army to find them while on patrols.  I think that I could have been one of the casualties of two wars that…quite frankly…maybe should not have happened the way they actually did.  War sucks…these are facts that cannot be denied or contended…but sometimes war is the only way something can be solved…but only if that war is just.  Sometimes we must ask ourselves…in the present and in the future…as we have done in the past — are the things we fight for just and right…or is it just on the agenda of those in power.

Ye olde introductory post.

We’ll make this plain — we are very disgruntled, so this is not the place for the feint of heart.  Jakob and Drew are avid military history enthusiasts, college educated experts on the theory that the French are at fault for all that is wrong with decent society. 

The white one (Jakob) lives in the pacific northwest, the “other” one (Drew) lives in the vapid center of bullshit aka New York City. 

One works with kids as well as trains them in soccer, while the other would rather just see all children on spikes in the town square while he pillages and makes delicious Scandinavian food. 

This blog may be random in nature, but we will try to keep a regimented style to it.  One day we may post about food, the other…our favorite era weapon/general.   Should people have an issue about what we have to say/our opinions, keep in mind that the constitution protects our rights to free speech…but it in fact does protect your right to be offended.  On that note I bid thee adieu.